Sunday, May 5, 2019

How to be Confident


How to be Confident? 



Confidence quotes,  how to be Confident, first love yourself.
First love yourself. 



Being an introvert I am a shy person . I don’t know all Introverts are shy or not , but in my case ? 
Yes , I’m. 

 There are lots of reasons behind my shyness, and I always try to overcome it ,  in this article I am going to tell you some reasons of shyness  how to overcome shyness, and how to be Confident  ? And definitely I'm going to share some quotes about Confidence. 

So , here are some reasons of shyness :

1: Don’t try to be right all the time :

I always  try to be right. So I talk less because I thought if  I say something wrong, what people will think about me ?
They might think how dumb I am? 
 Then I realise,  We are human so I should try to give myself  benefit of the doubt. I can’t  be right all the time .

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.

 ~ Peter T. Mcintyre

2: Please don’t be a people pleaser :


I always try to please everyone. But through all my experiences I learned, you can’t  even please a single person fully.  They will judge you , say bad about you , no matter how hard you try to please them so, do  what is right ,regardless of other people’s opinion about you. 

The fear of disapproval from others destroy your confidence. 

Your strength lies in accepting yourself as you are , not in material things around you .And you don’t even need others approval. 


How to be Confident, confidence quotes, don't look your strengths outside.
Don’t look your strengths outside, they are within you. 

I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time. 

~ Anna Freud

3: Don’t panic :


I used to get stressed and panic on even small issues , it’s because I learned it through modelling , I saw my elders getting panic on useless things. 

“When we are stressed we tend to do stupid things to ourselves.”

 ~Lisa Lieberman-Wang

4: Don’t fear disapprovals :


Fearing about disapprovals ,  losing something or someone , or any other kind of fear  are killers of your  confidence.   Be ok with or without any thing . After God , you are good enough for your self. 
By facing fear we gain strength and confidence. 

5: Don’t feel yourself inferior :


 Don’t think you are inferior ,  because other think you can’t do something they are master at , hey , stop  pitying you have your own strengths , your own skills , may be they don’t have them  .

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

 ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Why some people are too confident ?

Some characteristics of confident people :

1: Self  believe :


Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.
~ Lao Tzu


2: They Love their self :


To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now. 
~Alan Cohen

Remember to F.L.Y.= First Love Yourself . This is the key to be confident. 


3: They have good relationship with themselves :


 If you want to improve your relationships with those around you, start with your own. 

4: They respect their self  :


Don’t forget to give yourself respect as you always try to give to others. 


Don’t think I am super confident now ,  I am still struggling. But l thought I should share it with those who are also struggling like me . 
Thanks for reading!  
Stay blessed  

Monday, April 15, 2019

Body language


Updated : April 18 , 2019


 “A species’ survival depends critically upon its ability to communicate effectively, and the quality of its social life is determined in large measure by how and what it can communicate.”
~Robert M. Krauss 

Body language or non verbal communication :


Communication is not only what you say or hear . Your eye gaze, hand movements, sitting and standing styles, facial expressions all these things include in communication. And this communication is known as Body language or non verbal communication. 
Non-verbal communication includes :
facial expressions, the tone and pitch of the voice, and gestures displayed through body language.


What body language reveals :

 It can often tell people exactly how you feel, even if you have hardly said a word. Body language is the unspoken element of communication. Body language isn’t always as clear as spoken language , But it reveal  a lot about people .It reveals our true feelings and emotions.  .Understanding  about body language can help to interpret unspoken issues. The things we don’t say still convey volumes of information. 


Non verbal communication or body language, what body language reveals? Image
Body language reveals unspoken truths. 


Communication through body language :

Some estimates suggest that 7 percent we communicate through words and 93 percent nonverbally or through our body language .
But some studies says that body language may account for between 50 percent to 70 percent of all communication. 
Different studies show different results, but whatever they show , it is truth that body language reveal more abut people than verbal language. 

Facial expressions :

Facial expressions are among the most universal forms of body language. The expressions used to convey fear, anger, sadness, and happiness are similar throughout the world.


Learn to read eyes, because lips often lie .
Learn  to read eyes because lips often lie. 


Postures: 

Posture can convey a wealth of information about how a person is feeling as well as hints about personality characteristics, such as whether a person is confident, open, or submissive.
People tend to have much less conscious control over their nonverbal messages than of what they actually saying .Because nonverbal communication is  much more emotional in nature .

Non-verbal communication may also be both conscious and unconscious. Facial expressions are particularly hard to control, because we cannot see ourselves to know what we are doing. We may, therefore complicate communication by trying to convey one message consciously, while in fact conveying quite another unconsciously.

Michael Argyle identifies 

Five main functions of non-verbal communication:

  •  To express emotions, 
  • Communicate interpersonal relationships
  • Support verbal interaction
  • Reflect personality 
  •  Perform rituals, such as greetings and goodbyes.


How to enhance verbal and non verbal communication :

 Verbal communication is enhanced when a person is an effective listener. Listening doesn’t simply mean hearing; it means  understanding another person’s point of view.

Watching other people’s body language, facial expressions and intonations, and being conscious of your own physicality and feelings can enhance non-verbal communication.
Copy the people you are spending time with and you want to attract them, this strategy is called mirroring .When talking to someone try to copy their facial expressions , gestures and body language.

Maintain eye contact with those who you want to attract. Follow 80/20 rule while talking to someone.  It means ,maintain 80 percent eye contact and 20 percent you can see your surroundings.

Carry a decent smile  . It improves your face value.

Make sure your body language is open ,(No close arms, or cross feet) it indicates that you are relaxed, calm, and confident .

However , the same gesture can indicate a number of different things depending on context.

Our success as an individuals depends upon our ability to effectively communicate, both verbally and non-verbally.

Thanks for reading! 

Source :
1:https://www.livestrong.com/article/150573-what-is-verbal-communication/
2:https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/nonverbal-communication.html
3:https://www.verywellmind.com/understand-body-language-and-facial-expressions-4147228

Thursday, April 4, 2019

What are emotions?


Updated :13 April 2019

What are emotions? 


Most of the time we don’t have exact words to explain what we are actually  feeling . And it is quite difficult to differentiate emotions and feelings. 
The words “emotions, feelings, and moods” are often used interchangeably. But actually they are not the  same . Emotions are related to, but different from, mood ..

 Emotions :

  are specific physical reactions to a particular event. Their general purpose is to produce involuntary bodily response to a stimulus. That are usually of fairly short duration. 
No matter how friendly and caring a person you are , or you want to be, your brain keep saying you things that aren’t so kind when your emotions are triggered

The brain responds to stimuli long before your conscious brain can choose. Your immediate reactions often produce bad results and then instead of trying to undo what happened, you quickly find reasons to justify your behaviour.
If you want to manage your emotions,  start looking inside instead of outside .

Psychologists identify twenty-seven Categories of emotion: 

Admiration, adoration, aesthetic appreciation, amusement, anger, anxiety, awe, awkwardness, boredom, calmness, confusion, contempt, craving, disappointment, disgust, empathic pain, entrancement, envy, excitement, fear, guilt, horror, interest, joy, nostalgia, pride, relief, romance, sadness, satisfaction, sexual desire, surprise, sympathy and triumph.

Five main purposes of emotions : 


Emotions help us
  •  To take action.
  •  To survive.
  • Strike and avoid danger.
  • To make decisions.
  •  To understand others. Moreover, they help other people to understand us.

~Kendra Cherry (Psychology Expert)

Feelings

are mental associations and reactions to an emotion. They are coloured by our personal experiences and believes. 


When you say, "I feel anxious, angry, happy...", you are interpreting emotion by how it feels in your body.

Types of feelings :
There are only three types of feelings


  • pleasant
  • Unpleasant
  •  Neutral





What are emotions, difference between emotions and feelings, list of emotions and feelings.
Feelings vs emotions  

Is Feelings and emotions are the same thing? 

In response to specific stimuli The emotion comes first and it  is universal. What kind of feelings it will then become varies from person to person and from situation to situation because feelings are shaped by individual temperament and experience. 
 Emotions are event-driven, while feelings are learned behaviours .

  • Joy is an emotion. 

Happiness is a feeling. 
  • Fear is an emotion. 

Worry is a feeling. 
  • Enthusiasm is an emotion. 

Contentment is a feeling.
  • Anger is an emotion.

Bitterness is a feeling.
  • Attraction is an emotion.

Love is a feeling.



Expressing all types of emotions, even negative emotions, is natural and healthy.

Ending words :


An event or  stimulus cause emotions and emotions cause feelings .But same emotions generate different feelings in different people. 

I hope now you can fully understand emotions , and differentiate emotions and feelings well .

Thanks for reading! 

Sources :

https://www.laughteronlineuniversity.com/feelings-and-emotions/

https://inpowercoaching.com/tame-your-emotional-triggers/

https://imotions.com/blog/emotions-matter/

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Self help


Updated : 12 April 2019

Self help tips :


It is easy to change your environment than your circumstances. But is changing  or escaping from your present situation  gives you guarantee of your desired situation???? .  . .

And the answer is “No ”.

If you want to change some thing in your life , start changing your inside, don’t depend too much on others . Make your inner world strong , because most of the time, you actually know the solutions but you don’t  take a step forward to solve the issue. 

Reason ????

Here are some obstacles in achieving your goals , that also cease your self growth. 
  •  You most of the time confined  yourself in your  limited believes. 
  • You confined yourself in negative useless thoughts .
  • Confined in  fear of failure , 
  • Insecurities of present and future,
  • Blind believes in authority,
  • Too much  Rely on others  so on . .

Remember,  beneath your fears great opportunities lie . .
And opportunities dance with those who are already dancing on the dance floor. .

Take a step forward , take the responsibility of your life . You are the ceo of your life.
So, Give time to your goals ,pay attention to your instincts.
“You are your master. Only you have the master keys to open the inner locks.”


If you Want to achieve something, or want to solve any issue do work for it 
I know  it is not a one day process. But “Small changes add up to big changes .”


Self help tips, motivational quotes, life is not a coincidence, it is mirror of your own deeds.
God help those who help themselves. 

Life is not a coincidence, it is mirror of your own deeds,
So don’t let your thoughts, words and deeds let you bleed. 
“What you allow is what you continue .”

Don’t force people to acknowledge your existence, if they really know your worth they will stay with you .If they don't notice that you really exist , never  force them .Expect from yourself only .

Be responsible of every decision you make every  action you  take . Don’t blame others  .  Blaming others is also an escape from your flaws. Just do your work ,Some times you will win ,sometimes you will  learn .

Thinking the same thing will not give you new solutions. Old ways not lead you towards new success. Think out of the box .


Self help tips, motivational quotes, happiness is a habit,  cultivate  it .
Self help is the  best help. 


Be happy with what you have.
 “Find happiness first ,then  success will come .”Find happiness in small, little things . And remember happiness is a inside job . 
No one can really  make you happy until or unless you find your own ways to make yourself happy .Until or unless you decide to be happy. 
Your happiness is your responsibility don't expect it from others.

I will keep  updating , these kind of self help tips, make sure you keep visiting my blog . And give your feedback back in comment section below. 
Thanks for reading!


Friday, March 22, 2019

Right brain vs left brain



Left brain right brain theory :


The brain contains two hemispheres each  hemisphere perform a number of
 functions .
These hemispheres are called right brain and left brain. The two sides of the brain communicate with one another through  corpus callosum.

Functions of right and left brain :


The left side of the brain is responsible for controlling the right side of your body .And right side of the brain is responsible for controlling left side of your body . That's why damage to the left side of the brain, might have an effect on the right side of the body. 

I am right brain :


 I’m creative, I’m ,imaginative I think a lot  (holistic thinking)
some times I feel things before it happen (intuition) I love rhyming and rhythms,  l feel things deeply ( feelings) I  can visualise things . I believe more in nonverbal things .
some times I start daydreaming you know why???  because my Right brain dominate left brain.

I am Left brain:


Deal with logic , analysis , Mathematics , languages , thinking in words , computation  .
People who use left and right brain together or equally are  genius and happy. 

Right brain vs left brain theory and interesting facts about human brain.

Right brain vs left brain image
 source :
Vision board blog


Left brain ,right brain theory is myth :


Later research has shown that the brain is not nearly as divided into two parts  as once thought. For example, research has shown that abilities in subjects such as math are strongest when both halves of the brain work together. Today, neuroscientists know that the two sides of the brain collaborate to perform a broad variety of tasks and that the two hemispheres communicate through the corpus callosum.

“It’s absolutely true that some brain functions occur in one or the other side of the brain. Language tends to be on the left, attention more on the right. But people don’t tend to have a stronger left- or right-sided brain network."  
~Dr. Jeff Anderson. 

 While the idea of right brain/left brain thinkers has been revealed, its popularity still persists. 

Logical and imaginative brain :


Humans have 1/3 logical brain ,2/3 imaginative brain. 

Weight and connections of human brain :


It’s weight is approximately 3 pounds, it contains about 100 billion neurons, and 100 trillion connections.

Some facts about human brain :


  • 60% of your brain is composed of fat , making it most fattiest organ  of body.  
  • Your heart and brain are composed of  73%  of water .
  • The brain comprises about 2% of the body’s weight but it  consume 20% of it’s energy. 

Ending note :

By understanding functions of  your left brain and right brain’s weaknesses and strengths you can improve your wellbeing ,  and performance. 


source :

1: Left brain vs. right brain :
https://www.verywellmind.com

2:drinkbrainbean
https://www.instagram.com/drinkbrainbean/

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

How to control your negative thoughts?


Updated : 10 . April  2019


William James quote about thinking, when you make a picture in your mind, you can achieve that thing in reality , law in psychology.
 Quote on thinking by William James




There is a law in Psychology   that if you form a picture in your mind of what you would like to be, and you keep and hold that picture there long enough, you will soon become exactly as you have been thinking.

Your thoughts define you :

Your believes and thoughts define your whole existence. You don’t really live in reality,  your thoughts create  your reality. 
Thoughts are  generally shaped by genetics,  life  experiences , education, environment,  the company you keep , the stuff you read . . .

Your thoughts have power :


Your thoughts and  believes  have power to change your physiology and neurology. Your thoughts can make you feel  powerful or powerless. The thoughts you hold become things . "The quality of your thinking determines
 the quality of your life ".

How many thoughts you have per day :

Scientists estimated that humans have about 70,000 thoughts per day.
That means  you have  about 70,000 chances to change your life per day ,
 by   changing  and controlling your negative  thoughts.

 But question is , how to control your negative thoughts?  

1Be aware of your thoughts , you can save yourself from  it’s adverse effects by keeping yourself constructively occupied  or by diverting your thoughts to something positive. Take care of your thoughts 
You think about every thing but not about your thoughts.
Don’t  host your own pity party , by thinking negative.  So be kind to your mind , you deserve good things , take the first step to change your whole existence  by changing your negative thought in to positive one.


Psychology says be kind to your mind. Make up your mind don't  be the victim of negative thoughts.
Be kind to yor mind , don't be the victim of your  negative thoughts .


2: What I believe controlling your thoughts are not much difficult as compare to facing negative people around you. 
 So try to avoid negative people, those who have problem for every solution. Because their vibes vibrate (provoke) your negative thoughts. 

But problem is , you have to deal with these type of people often in your life so what to do ?

I don’t exactly know  what should be done in such a situation ?  But what I think, believe, and learned from my experiences , listen to them and agree with them , but deep down  hold on your beliefs and positivity.  

3: learn something new every day. That will help you to overcome thoughts of uselessness. It could be as little as opening a new level of a game.  There are lots of free educational apps on Google play store  that will help you grow, and increase your knowledge. 

4: Spend time with like minded people. 
It will help to maintain your positivity and believe that still good people exist.

5:  Don't believe everything you think .
Even having negative thoughts is  not a problem, actually problem is you believe them.
Remember,  perception is always greater than reality. What you think might be merely your perception , it could be wrong . So why so serious? 

There are so many other  ways .You only need “will power”  to do any thing .

 These above ideas I personally use , you can tell me your ideas regarding how you control or  overcome your negative thoughts  by commenting in comment section . And one more thing,  don't forget  to share. 

Thanks  for reading !


Also read :




Monday, February 18, 2019

Highly sensitive people


Updated : 23 April 2019

Highly sensitive people
Highly sensitive people 

  : Being highly sensitive   




Characteristics image of highly sensitive people
Characteristics of highly sensitive people 
Image source :  Introverts planet



مجھے لگتا ھے انسان کو وہ سب کرلینا چاہیے ، جو وہ کرنا 
چاہتا ہے ۔ ۔ ۔
ورنہ وہ سب کرنا پڑتا ہے جودوسرے چاہ  رہے ہوتے ہیں ۔ ساری زندگی آپ لوگوں کی توقعات پوری کرنے میں گزار دیتے ہیں اور نتیجتاً، نہ تو آپ خود خوش رہ  پاتے ہیں 
نہ دوسروں کو رکھ پاتےہیں ۔ 

اپنی خواہشات مار مار کر آپ ایک مشین  بن جاتےہیں ،خواہشات  سے عاری مشین ۔۔۔ 
اور لوگوں کی توقعات ختم ہونے کا نام ہی نہیں لیتں ۔۔۔
آپ ساری زندگی دوسروں کو عزت دیتے دیتے یہ بھول جاتے ہیں ، کہ آپ بھی محترم ہیں آپ کی بھی کچھ خواہشات اور توقعات ہیں ۔۔۔ 
مگر فرق کس کو پڑتا ہے ۔ ۔ ۔ 


Highly sensitive people’s characteristics,  they want to brighten up others lives ,no matter what.
Highly sensitive people’s characteristics 

اگر آپ خود اپنا خیال نہیں رکھیں گے تو یہ مت سوچیے کہ کوئی دوسرا آکے آپ کے لیے کچھ کرے گا ۔۔۔۔
آپ کی یہ زندگی سو فیصد آپ کی ذمہ داری ہے ۔ ۔ ۔۔


مگر مسئلہ یہ ہے کہ 
"ہر کسی کی آواز پر لبیک کہنے والے دل کی آواز پر سر ، منہ لپیٹ کر سوتے بن جاتےہیں ۔"
حساس لوگ جتنی بھی تقریریں سن لیں ، اقوال زریں پڑھ لیں ۔ ان کی بناوٹ اور ساخت ایسی ہوتی ہے کہ وہ دوسروں کے دل توڑنا نہیں چاہتے 
اور اپنے  ٹکڑوں (دل کے) کو سنبھالنے میں ہلکان ہوئے پھرتے ہیں ۔۔ 
میں نے حساس لوگوں کو بہت کم اندر سے خوش دیکھا ہے۔ 


خود میں  اتنی ہمت پیدا کرو ،کہ  جو کرنا چاہتے ہو کر جاو ورنہ
اپنی ناکام حسرتوں کا بوجھ خود اٹھانا پڑتا ہے۔ 
لوگوں سے توقعات رکھنا بیکار ہے ۔ کیونکہ اکثر و بیشتر ہم غلط لوگوں سےغلط توقعات وابستہ کرلیتے ہیں ۔
 غلط لوگوں سے توقعات رکھنا بالکل  ایسے ہی ہے جیسے  ہم نوکیا 3310 سے سامسنگ گیلکسی کی خصوصیات چاہ رہے ہوں۔
ایک چیز میں وہ خصوصیات تلاش کرنا جو اس میں ہے ہی نہیں سراسر حماقت ہے ۔
اسی طرح حساس لوگوں کو یہ درس دینا کہ وہ صرف دل 
کی سنیں، بھاڑ میں جائے دنیا ۔ ۔ سراسر حماقت ہے ۔

کوشش کیا کرو کہ لوگوں کو معاف کر دو،  لوگوں 
کی مجبوریاں ہوتی ہیں ۔  کچھ اپنے سوا کسی کو خوش نہیں رکھ سکتے، اور کچھ سب کو خوش رکھنا چاہتے ہیں ۔ اور ایسے میں خود کو فراموش کر دیتے ہیں ۔

 "وفا ہر کسی کے بس کا روگ نہیں ہے،  اور بے وفائی کا حوصلہ بھی کسی کسی کے پاس ہوتا ہے ۔"


Tu bacha bacha kar na rak isy Allama Iqbal poetry
 Allama Iqbal poetry 


 "کبھی کبھی مجھے لگتا ہے کہ اچھے لوگوں کے کوئی  حقوق نہیں ہوتے صرف فرائض ہوتے ہیں  "


اور وہ یہ کہہ کہ خود کو تسلی دیتے ہیں. . .
  •   کہ چلو کوئی بات نہیں،  لوگوں نے تو جو ہمارے ساتھ کیا سو کیا کم از کم ہم نے کسی کے ساتھ برا نہیں کیا ۔
  • کوئی بات نہیں ،ان تمام ناکامیوں نے مجھے مضبوط بھی تو بنایا ہے ،
  • ان مشکلات سے مجھے بہت کچھ سیکھنے کو ملا، 
  • شاید اسی میں بہتری ہو،
  • شاید تم کسی چیز کو پسند کرو اور تمہاری بھلائی اس میں نہ ہو۔

(سورہ بقرہ )
  • اور یہ کہ" دنیا مومن کے لئیے قید خانہ ہے ،اور کافر کے لیے جنت۔"

(صحیح مسلم 2956  )



  • "اگر آپ ایماندار اور سچے انسان ہیں تو آنے والے بظاہر بے وجہ مسائل میں بھی کوئی نہ کوئی کرم کا پہلو مل جائے گا ۔"
( قاسم علی شاہ  )


Highly sensitive people and karma
  : Image source  Towards eternity


خود کو دی گئی ایسی مثالوں کے بعد دل بہل جاتا ہے ۔ ۔
اور کیوں نہ بہلے" وہ اپنے وعدے کے خلاف نہیں کرتا" ۔ ۔ ۔۔